ic contact post

[therealgenius]

You've reached the voicemail feature for Justin Hammer. I apologize for any inconvenience I may have caused by being unable to answer your call, but I will get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you, and have a good day.

Comments

[therealgenius]

[file attached]

They have a wine cellar. Don't worry about it. You don't have to impress anyone. You've already made enough of one to get the invite, okay, you don't need to do anything else.

You should, you know, not bring a bunch of shit. Besides packing because I usually stay for three days, so that'd be Tue-Thurs or Fri, depending on how long you want to be there. Can you do small planes? If I use my regular one, it'll be a half hour drive from the airport. If I use the smaller one, there's a field-turned-runway that's like a few dirt roads away.

[manofiron]

[file attached]

All right. I'll dial back the attempts to impress them.

We can stay as long as you want. I don't mind. I'm looking forward to it, actually. And yeah, I can do small planes. I fly a tin can around on a semi-regular basis, remember? Small planes are okay.

How many planes do you have?

[therealgenius]

Chasing cars? You mean like the Joker?

Oh. Right. Iron Man. I totally forgot.

Just the two, actually.

[manofiron]

What? No. Never mind.

Really? You forgot? That's not something I hear. Like ever.

Do you use the smaller one much?

1/2

[therealgenius]

No, I didn't really forget. I was being facetious. Though, you know, if you fly around in that all the time, it makes sense if you'd want to use the big one.

Always for my penis, or if I'm going somewhere I really don't want to be disturbed at.

[therealgenius]

...*parents

[manofiron]

I'm sorry. I'm distracted by your penis now. What were we talking about?

[therealgenius]

Going to my parents' for New Year's. Stay focused.

[manofiron]

Hey, you started it. You stay focused.

[therealgenius]

That was autocorrect, you turd.

Now I'm going to turn it off and everytinhng will b lyk this

[manofiron]

Wow. Rude.

No it won't! You can spell. You can't convince me that you can't.

[therealgenius]

Im the rudest person in teh world to be honest i cant beleeve u havent figured that out by know

[manofiron]

I feel like I'm talking to 16 year old Justin right now. You didn't go back in time between texts, did you?

[therealgenius]

Totally did, dude. Me & William & Rufus back n time right now lol jk jk im still 40 8(

[manofiron]

Put Justin back on the phone, Ted.

There's nothing wrong with 40. 40's hot. Don't knock it. 16's got acne and high school and also it's illegal. Please don't be 16. :(

[therealgenius]

Ted's in law school

What if I was, like that Benjamin Button guy?

[manofiron]

I despair for the legal system.

I think I would probably cry. And then once you hit 18, I'd settle for being the coolest old guy friend you ever had.

[therealgenius]

You know he predicted he'd win because of the hole in the bathroom that let him hear in the juror's room, right? Ted's a sly son of a bitch

Don't cry. Please.

[manofiron]

I think that comes from being the son of Satan.

Don't start aging backward and I won't have to.

[therealgenius]

That sounds like profiling to me. Shame on you.

WELL I GUESS I CAN STOP THE PROCESS of congenital, magical disorders

[manofiron]

It's true! It's not profiling!

You better. You ARE a wizard, right? Wizard up a little magical disease cure.

[therealgenius]

Who's rude now?

Yeah, but I suck at potions and Snape is dead, so. . .

[manofiron]

I am so not being rude.

Isn't there a spell to bring people back from the dead?

[therealgenius]

You so are.

Uh, yeah, but that's like zombie people and it's dark magic and it wouldn't be reviving anyone so much as...animating a corpse.

[manofiron]

How am I rude?

Well that's stupid. What good is magic if it can't revive the dead? Shouldn't that be a prerequisite?