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You've reached the voicemail feature for Justin Hammer. I apologize for any inconvenience I may have caused by being unable to answer your call, but I will get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you, and have a good day.

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[The reply takes at least fifteen minutes, which he might blame on meetings. Maybe.]

Look, it was--it wasn't cool. Or fair. And I'm sorry. I'm just Sometimes I don't think things through, so apologies.

Does that bug you? Being called a manwhore, being told you think with your sex drive--does ANY of that get it under your skin? At all? I mean, I can explain where I'm coming from, but I was really exacerbating things myself, you can't sugarcoat being a shithead. Well, you probably can, but it doesn't smell any better. I don't know; I've never put sugar on feces before.

Does it matter to you what I think you should think about yourself, Tony?

Being a manwhore or driven by your sexual urges doesn't bother you. Why the hell would I use that against you? It doesn't bother you. You say it doesn't, I believe you. I don't think it's necessarily going for the jugular if there's nothing else. I don't--look, it was a dick move. I'm sorry.

I'd draw a comparison, but even hypothetically, it's still too harsh. But in the vein of that--I'd appreciate your go-to "saying" if we shall in regards to anything I do differently from you to NOT be automatically about YOU because it makes you feel sad/depressed/emo/w/e

I don't want to get into it. I'm 100% aware of that. It's just not something a person really likes to hear, in my opinion. And that wasn't the first time you'd said something like that, you know.

You were deliberately trying to piss me off?

So, let me work this out: There are times where you actually try to piss me off--that doesn't work. There are times where you're dicking around and end up pissing me off--but you're not trying to. Is that right?

Should I find you a basic guideline on the etiquette of "normal" social interaction? Would you like that?

I assume this is what happens when you're too smart for your own good at such an early age. I only skipped the 4th grade. My parents didn't want me to "miss out" on learning "social skills" if I ended up in college at 16 or something like it. Still don't know if it was worth it or not, you know?

Yeah, well, so did James Joyce, and his take on it was pretty hideous all around. Actually, I've never read any accounts of boarding schools that was anything other than mostly miserable--Harry Potter included. Prison does things to you, Tony. Prison + therapy? I think it'd do the trick, unless I was, like, Hannibal Lecter or something.

Did they still use caning when you went? I'll need you to clarify because that's a pretty broad, open-ended question, and I'm not at all sure how to take it.

Or you'd just have a very firm bottom? Are you asking if I am harboring some sort of deep-seated, seething hatred for you? Because I never did, actually.

Bruises aren't any fun. Well, usually. What area? There's no area there. I've never actually hated you. I'm not so stupid in that regard--it's not your fault you're so brilliant. It's just who you are. That's not going to change for anyone. And yeah, I did. I think the display of my willingness to break out a crazy-ass man with clear issues with you without thinking through that, hey, he might want you dead--pretty good indicator, right?

Yeah, no thank you. Tony. It's okay. It really is. I spent two years in therapy--it cane up a lot. It's what it is. But if you're uncomfortable with it, yes, we can drop it. You don't need to apologize.