ic contact post

[therealgenius]

You've reached the voicemail feature for Justin Hammer. I apologize for any inconvenience I may have caused by being unable to answer your call, but I will get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you, and have a good day.

Comments

[manofiron]

I am so not being rude.

Isn't there a spell to bring people back from the dead?

[therealgenius]

You so are.

Uh, yeah, but that's like zombie people and it's dark magic and it wouldn't be reviving anyone so much as...animating a corpse.

[manofiron]

How am I rude?

Well that's stupid. What good is magic if it can't revive the dead? Shouldn't that be a prerequisite?

[therealgenius]

8|

Don't you think that would get tiring for the dead person? How many times would people have raised Copernicus or Nero if they could have? And then the body goes through all that decay all over again, don't you think that would be kind of terrible?

[manofiron]

Linefacing at me is not an effective means of communication.

Well, no. I'd think the dead person would just be alive again and that would be the end of it.

[therealgenius]

ヽ(。_°)ノ

Okay, so they're alive again--when something's alive it's dying, too, you know. So they'll die again. And then people will be like, "oh shit what did Copernicus say about the Black Death again? Get that fucker back up here!" and he'll never get his happy ending!

[manofiron]

Is that face drunk!?

Okay, fine. You made your point. Resurrection spells suck.

[therealgenius]

It's supposed to be a "Mellow" or "Whatever" Japanese emote, so maybe?

We're going to have to meet up by the end of the week so I can cast the Obliviate on you to make you forget I'm a wizard. Sorry.

1/2

[manofiron]

[file attached]

Probably you shouldn't be associating yourself with the sort of people that find this attractive.

[manofiron]

When are you free?

[therealgenius]

[files attached]

Thursday?

Unless you send me more shit like that, then December.

[manofiron]

I'm not going to send you any more picture of bagelheads. I promise. And not just because you threatened me. But also because of that.

Thursday's good. Do you work? Do you want me to make, possibly buy, dinner?

[therealgenius]

Thank God.

You wanna come over to my place this time?

[manofiron]

Yes. I like your house. What time and should I bring? Because I am bringing something, even if it's just a cake.

Oh, hey, it could be an ice cream cake. That's different.

[therealgenius]

5? PM, that is.

And you don't have to bring anything. Really.

[manofiron]

I'll be there.

I guess I could use it as practice for New Year's.

[therealgenius]

Fun stuff, I'll have the place cleaned.

[Read: Justin is going to clean it himself.]

You'll do fine, seriously.

[manofiron]

You say that like it's a mess.

I mean to try. Whether I succeed or not remains to be seen

[therealgenius]

It's a little dusty.

Y o u w i l l b e f i n e.

[manofiron]

What level magnification do you need to use to see that?

I h o p e s o.

[therealgenius]

The normal naked human eye.

8|

[manofiron]

Is this imaginary dust? Are you hallucinating? Should I be worried?

Take it as the compliment it is and stop linefacing at me.

[therealgenius]

No! It's actual dust that settles on things that haven't been dusted in quite some time.

Okay fine, I'll do that.

[manofiron]

Quite some time? Have you been gallivanting around the world like a rock star again?

Good. Because I don't care about the impression I make on other people for just anybody. Ask JARVIS.

[therealgenius]

Oh yeah. You know me. Actual rock god Justin Hammer.

JARVIS? Little help please?