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I never thought about that. Yet another reason to be glad that I'm not a woman. Wait, you mean you like it when I'm shirtless? I thought clothes on were a thing. We could be the scourge of the fair. All the game people could cower in fear when we walked up because they'd know we were going to clean them out.

How would that even work? Would Iron Woman be unable to breastfeed for fear of some sort of metallic poisoning? Should we look into that? Of course they are. But shirtless is a good look on you, too. We'll bring something to sooth the burn of their Hammeroids.

Now you're going to make me think about this for real. Thanks for that. :| Should I compromise? Just wear unbuttoned shirts all the time? Best of both worlds! That term should never be used again. Ever.

You're welcome! You could do that. You know, if you wanted. It works for me either way, so it's really up to you. But it's so funny!!!! It's the height of humor!!!

If I have to think about being a woman, I'm also going to imagine you eating woman-me out. FYI. Okay, what I WANT to do is make myself into irresistible eye-candy so that you can't keep your hands off of me. How do I do that? NO IT ISN'T AND I'M SORRY I EVER SAID IT.

That's good FYI. That's getting into some dreams I've had and they go on for a while and I don't want to compromise your decency.

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It's good, Tony. I'm reclaiming the hideous puns of my name. Forty has opened mine eyes unto the true meaning of having a name with a double meaning.

Yeah, you say that now. Until you get an irate call from Pepper because she walked in on me jerking off again. For the record, I would like to hear these dreams. Very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, much. Damn it, I don't have tits. If we're going to talk about the double meanings, my favorite is the action form that involves you and me and the nearest available flat surface.

I already got that; I just didn't know she was irate because she caught you beating off. Please tell me you c/p'd "very" once or twice, not typed all that out, because that means I feel very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very obliged to give you what you want in that regards. Calm they pectoral muscles. Funny, but I nailed that one already.

What? No, catching me only happened once. I'm just saying, it could happen again. Good. Tell me. Think you could maybe refresh my memory? Because it's starting to get a little hazy.

Can't you have JARVIS tell her you're indisposed instead of her just walking in on that? I'll try? It's mostly just you with your hair like it was the morning we had birthday cake for breakfast. Remember how I said you looked? Yeah, like that. Except you're in a suit (which I think is a Thing, but I'm not sure why), dark pants. But your jacket and tie's off and on the back of the couch at my house in Maine, and I didn't know you were there. You were going for "surprise" or whatever. Anyway, so you're in that with the messy hair and you're wearing a really deep crimson shirt, almost with some purple tints, and I walk in and JEEVES is all "Welcome to your Maine house, Mister Hammer" (because I have him there now, too, thanks again) and I'm all hey what's up and then he goes really quiet (unusual) and then I realize you're there because you have him turn the lights on 25% and I'm like oh Jesus hi I wasn't expecting you and you're all yeah I know I wanted it that way and THEN you start unbuttoning your shirt and I just like can't think of anything to do but either slide into your lap or get on my knees and that's a reoccurring thing yeah Does that jog your memory any?

Uh yeah. He's supposed to do that. He just chooses not to sometimes to fuck with me. um i can do that i will do that god please can i do that

Totally got your back there. No never. Just a fantasy. I'd hate for it to actually happen. I might be offended.

Can you please have me on my knees? Is that what you're asking? Of course you can.

yes it is need to surprise you though thats important too i have a shirt like that ill wear it

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Jack, There is a rather simple article on when to micromanage. If William Roberts is so incessant on his skills in that regard, you could always pass that along. You could attach my name to it as well. It's brief and attaching a website you can get from Googling "basics of micromanaging" is quite insulting. If he is going to be touting his skills in management while be that poorly educated in it, I do believe that is fair play. If he refuses to "get" the message after such and one write up, remind him that two write ups leads to three, and a third has him losing his job. Remind him that a second write up leads to brunch with the company's CEO, at my expense. Finest brunch he'll ever have. Also, could you please pass on the last report about the branch in DC to my personal e-mail this Thursday evening? I am indisposed then as of less than an hour ago. Thank you in advance! - JH

Edited 2012-10-05 02:32 (UTC)

Ah jeez, that was meant for my PA. Sorry, but are you beating off right now?

right now? no. No I'm not. Kind of got distracted by your micromanaging email. :|

Yeah, that was my bad. You want to try again?

No, you're obviously busy. Do I need to let you get back to work?

I majored in business and commerce, Tony. I can macromanage, too. If you'd like a masturbatory aid, I can certainly set aside the time it takes for you to end up spent and ragged and asking for another game of Mahjong.

Yeah but on the list of things that shouldn't be associated with work? This. And if you're working, I can't help you get off. Which sucks. And not in the good way.

I'm always working. Except for when I'm with you. You're the only person I turn my phone off/on vibrate for. Did you know that?

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Sure you can. I'll just save the e-mails for later and go over them and end up in the same state I want you in.

I didn't, no. I do now. And I think maybe I need to spend more time with you as a work deterrent, because you should not always be working. That is bad for your health. But I won't know! That's part of the fun.

The more you know! Tony. Let's be very serious. I've got a DVD of Planet Earth in right now, and it's doing dangerous jungle animals. Sigourney Weaver is narrating the lives of these spiders that use trap plants to eat. Are you telling me to turn it off, whip out my dick, and start jerking off? Is that what you're asking?

You mean you're not even at work?! And you're still doing micromanaging stuff while... Jesus Christ. Okay. I feel really fucking stupid right now. And no. I can see how carnivorous spiders would be a huge turn-off. That's not even remotely sexy.

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