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I will be the soul of discretion, sir. I don't think his ego really needs the boost anyway.

You're the soul of a hell of a lot more than that, JARVIS. I don't know, sometimes he doesn't seem to have an ego at all.

I was programmed to display considerable patience. In what way?

It that why you argue with JEEVES when you come over, or is that just sibling rivalry at work? He's so disparaging of himself half the time. Like, he doesn't give himself ANY credit. Idk but it doesn't necessarily match up with his persona.

Would you like an honest answer to your inquiry? Or is that a rhetorical question? Has he told you about his relationship with his parents?

An answer would be cool! Not really, but I've read about it. He's pretty hesitant to talk about it, I've noticed.

I find the concept of having a brother both fascinating and appealing, and in my observation, engaging in minor arguments about trivial things is a normal aspect of interacting with one's family members. He believes that his parents neither loved nor wanted him and that he is a disappointment both to them and their memory. It has caused him to spend many years questioning his self-worth.

Try to keep it to after 6AM next time. No big deal otherwise. Yeah, I had got that much. Maybe you should leave this for us to talk about, though? I don't want him to find this and get mad. It's kind of gossipy maybe. He wasn't too happy when we were iming last time. I think he thinks I'd leave him if you were a human.

Of course, sir. I will do so. I will not pursue the topic further. We have had conversations to that effect before, yes, but he does not begrudge us our, if I may use the term, friendship. Do you wish that I speak on this topic, or would you prefer to bring it up to him directly?

Friendship is a good term for it. It's the accurate one. Use it as much as you want! You can bring it up if the timing is right, I'm not going to try and control you or anything. I was going to bring it up in Belize either way.

Thank you, sir. I will. He has never witnessed anyone show interest in me or treat me as more than a simple program. By the same token, he does not think highly of himself, as you have already noticed. His concern is borne of the fear of loss, and it is not often that he has anything to lose.

Yeah, no problem. Okay, yeah, that makes sense, but...what's he got to lose now?

You, sir.

What? Does he think I'm just going to disappear one day? Lose me? What am I, a job? A game of chess?

Ignore that. I know what you mean. Kind of. But it's stupid. I'm not going anywhere unless he wants me to.

The human mind is not always the most rational, least of all his. And he has rarely been successful in matters of this nature. Rarer still has he found someone worth keeping. I am glad to hear it, sir. I would not be happy to see you go.

You don't have to tell me that. About the mind, I mean. And I would assume that someone who's had as much alcohol as he has in his life might have some more issues, but that's between us. You'll have to take that up with him, if it ever happens. Unless there's, like, a huge blowout knockdown drag out fight or something, I'm a-okay as is.

If it helps set your mind at ease, sir, I can affirm that he has not been drinking. I have never seen him engage in such behavior. Typically he responds to arguments by withdrawing to his workshop.

That's good. I mean, a drink or two is fine, I guess, but if he's actually an alcoholic and he's in recovery then...no drinks would be best. Right? Well, that's good to know. I'll keep that in mind if I ever wake up and he's holed himself down there.

I believe he thinks so. And it appears to be working, though until he can have a drink without needing to follow it with seven or eight, I don't know if he will realize it. If he ever does that, you have my word that I will not bar you from it should you wish to enter.

Yeah, that's the thing with addiction, isn't it? You think you can have just one and you do, but next time it's two, and it just goes right back into it all over again. You don't do that a lot, do you? Bar people from entering. Even when he's indisposed at the desk, hmm?

Precisely. I am pleased to see that he has not filled the void with something else. I thought soft drink consumption was headed in that direction, but he does not over indulge in that either. Unless it is a matter of Mr. Stark's safety, I follow his instructions. He did not instruct me to bar Ms. Potts from the workshop on the instance to which I believe you are subtly referring.

Edited 2012-10-17 19:35 (UTC)

Well, that's good. Soft drinks bloat you up, I think. Make you fat. Tell me something this: is that the strangest thing she's caught him doing? Has she caught him going at with someone? Is she paid enough fo rthat?

Next time I see him pick up a can of Coca-Cola I will remind him of that fact. That was relatively mild, I think. She has walked in on him having sexual relations more than once, if the stories I've heard are true. But that was many years ago.

Maybe wait til the third can in six hours. You know, if he goes for that sort of thing. She didn't appear to have PTSD, did she?

YES WELL

play with you little hose

no playing with you little hoses allowed

id rather you play with you little hose than stuff la-la

well, yes, that would be preferable

her cottony love mond

DEAR GOD NO

she had hair on her back that was thin and dyed the same color as her hair no said petar

look out, spider_ma!

Octopussy!!!

I LOVE YOU SPIDER

otp

the best ever

spiderpus 1/2

no subject

that is the best pairing name

sleipnir's true daddies

suddenly it all makes sense

octohorse has 17 kids

here comes slippy boo boo

pees self laughing

them's sketti's good

daylishus

ya make the sauce out o' butter an' ketchup

even paula deen would go YUCK