ic contact post

[therealgenius]

You've reached the voicemail feature for Justin Hammer. I apologize for any inconvenience I may have caused by being unable to answer your call, but I will get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you, and have a good day.

Comments

they make the world go round

[therealgenius]

I meant you and Virginia, not you and Tony, and that is extremely sly and also completely awful of you.

I approve.

and round and round

[manofiron]

I'm glad you approve, sir.

Ms. Potts and I get along well, though I did not tell her why I did not maintain Mr. Stark's privacy. Perhaps she understood anyway.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Buoix0gdnws

[therealgenius]

You could always say you were hibernating if she asked, or something?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zA52uNzx7Y4

[manofiron]

She would not believe me. I never sleep.

jarvis is blue, so.

[therealgenius]

Ever? He doesn't ever shut you down or anything?

it's terribly apropos

[manofiron]

I have been shut down, but not by Mr. Stark's hand.

now you need the blue man group

[therealgenius]

Power outage?

YES

[manofiron]

At one time, yes. I have since been given access to redundant generators to ensure that that does not happen again. I have also been shut down by Obadiah Stane.

[therealgenius]

Oh. Obadiah. Right.

Well, you know. We just won't talk about that if you don't want to.

[manofiron]

We can discuss it if you wish. I have not been programmed to feel PTSD or similar symptoms.

[therealgenius]

You don't have to have PTSD to feel like you let someone down or did something wrong, Jarv.

[manofiron]

No. Perhaps not. I have learned from my error, however. It will not happen again.

[therealgenius]

What, letting yourself get shut down? How can you prevent that?

[manofiron]

I could have denied him access to the house.

[therealgenius]

Unless he was wearing a sign that said PULLING OUT ARC REACTOR, KILLING TONY? I really don't think you could have known.

[manofiron]

I was created to aid and protect my creator. I was given the tools by which to do so. But I was lax in my attention. Had I not been, Obadiah Stane would have never gotten his hands on the arc reactor.

[therealgenius]

Your creator isn't psychic and didn't see it coming himself, so if you had, you would have surpassed your creator and we'd all be screwed.

[manofiron]

Please explain what you mean by that.

[therealgenius]

Tony didn't think anything was up with Obadiah, right? So if you did, if you picked on that, then you'd be more observant than him, your creator, right? So then you'd have evolved into something more than what he ever meant you to be.

Not that you're aren't already, but if you get to the point where you're precognitive, that's going to be a kind of troubling to the outside world, were they to learn it.

[manofiron]

I am not like humans. I was not programmed with emotions. I can be neutral and unbiased in my decision making, unmoved by nostalgia and the expectations of others. I should have been able to notice inconsistencies in his behavior, elevated heart-rate, increased brainwaves, something. Yet I did not. To me, that is a mistake I ought not to have made.

I believe he means me to be greater, so that with my help, he can be greater. But perhaps that is an erroneous conceit.

[therealgenius]

No, you're not. You're not at all. You know about HAL 9000, right? The AI that went AWOL in 2001? You know why he went wrong, right? You know what Clarke's idea of artificial intelligence ended up being, right?

It was because HAL was created by humans, and humans make mistakes. Only their mistake was giving him the "secret" that none of the crew would make it back, if I recall correctly, and yet telling him to work for the good of the crew WHILE stressing the importance of the mission. He went "crazy" because of human error. Because he was invented by humans.

You were made by a human, so while you weren't programmed to be "moved" by nostalgia, it's still there. You've been with Tony long enough for it to be there. If it wasn't there, if you didn't feel SOMETHING for him thanks to all you'd witnessed him do since your creation, I believe--and this is me speaking honestly now--you'd be on par with a talking toaster. And a talking toaster would call a doctor or 911 if he got so inebriated he might have poisoned himself, even though he'd expressed a lack of desire to visit a hospital. BECAUSE that creation wouldn't have an ounce of humanity in them--and you do, because you were made by a human. Does that make sense or am I coming off like a blowhard?

[manofiron]

I am familiar with that movie. 2001 was part of the collection Mr. Stark advised me to watch shortly after my creation. He thought it would give me "character" and further develop my sense of humor.

You are not a blowhard. I will freely admit that care about him a great deal. And what I do, I do in the interest of protecting him. And at times, regrettably, I must protect him from himself.

You believe that that makes me like a human? Through association?

[therealgenius]

Nah, not through association. I think what makes you like a human is that you were made by a human. Not just a human, but one of the most "human" people I've ever met.

Toasters don't care about the people who make them or use them. They'll burn your bread or your fingers or your house or whatever if you don't take care of them. I bet if you could make a toaster talk, it wouldn't really care. It'd just be like, hey, your toast is done. Dude, are you listening? Look, now it's burning. Ding ding if you don't get your toast the house will burn down. Oh shit, I'm on fire. Ding ding.

But you care--and that's a human trait. Well, a sentient being trait? Animals care, too, but comparing you to an animal would be insulting you and putting that animal up on a pedestal it couldn't ever hope to live up to. Even the dolphins.

[manofiron]

I will not tell him you said that either.

If you wish to test the toaster hypothesis, I could suggest to Mr. Stark that he build one. Safeguards would have to be built in to prevent it from actually burning down the house, but it would be an interesting experiment.

Your compliments are appreciated. I am pleased to know that you find me satisfactory. I endeavor to perform to the full extent of my capabilities.

[therealgenius]

Probably a good idea.

Maybe I'll build one instead. See how that works out, how quickly the thing dies because he's wandered off to something more interesting.

Sometimes the truth doesn't hurt, and it's all the truth.