ic contact post

[therealgenius]

You've reached the voicemail feature for Justin Hammer. I apologize for any inconvenience I may have caused by being unable to answer your call, but I will get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you, and have a good day.

Comments

[therealgenius]

His write up was good enough, don't worry about it. He did a good job!

The one I have at home is bigger, but that's pretty much standard monitor size around here. I don't want to have a huge one. Sends a bad message to the employees, and I can work with it fine enough as is. The one at home is about 32''.

He knows she can only say certain things, right? She can react to the environment, sure, but she's not AI, really. She's more...A Emotional Manipulation Kitchen Appliance Extraordinaire than anything else.

Besides, JARVIS doesn't have a tab A, and she has two slot Bs, so how that would work out is beyond me...he could have Dummy poke around her with his grips? Idk.

[manofiron]

Oh. I never thought about it that way before. That's actually a good policy.

That's how it starts. A few phrases. A few protocols. And then suddenly they're telling you how to do business and run your life and they speak better English than you do. AI sneaks up on you.

I am now picturing my robots having an orgy. Thanks for that.

[therealgenius]

It keeps a feeling of equality, even with pay differences. It's a minor thing, really, and maybe that's kind of manipulative, but anything that makes a work environment less stressful is what I aim for, hands down.

I promise she won't do that. It's not in her programming. Unless you plug her in the wall and JARVIS starts imbuing her with extra coding and overriding it, she'll be the same tomorrow as she is today.

That would kind of be like taking advantage of the mentally handicapped if JARVIS was involved. If not, U, Dummy, and Butterfingers all have the same level of mentality from what I've seen, how dare you shame any sort of exploration they'd indulge in!?

[manofiron]

Keeping morale high is the good kind of manipulative. Besides, happy employees are the kind that stick around and actually get work done, instead of playing games on their smartphones all day.

He might. You never know with him.

I think he's got his sights set a little higher. I just can't figure out if he's got them set on you or Darla.

If they want to have the robo-orgy, I'm not going to stop them. I just hope they do it somewhere private. I don't think I'm ready to find out that the kids are having sex.

[therealgenius]

That's it exactly! Some of my employees have been with me for fifteen years, and that's not something everyone can say they have going for them. I mean, things were kind of difficult when I was in prison, but the show must go on and they stuck through it, so bonuses all around whenever I got out.

I'll put in a good word for him with Darla, then.

But you had lube and motor oil in the same drawer, Tony. Don't you think they figured that out...?

[manofiron]

Maybe they stuck around because prison or no, you're worth waiting for and they knew that.

Yes, please. Promote Darla. I really don't want to have to fight JARVIS for you. He controls the suit most of the time, I think he'd win.

Okay, I'm telling you, that was an accident. I just forgot to take it upstairs!

[therealgenius]

I think it had more to do with the high rate of unemployment and the fact of the matter that I pay well.

Yeah no. That's a "fight" JARVIS would lose.

Dude, I don't care if you keep lube in your workshop or in your pantry or even in your box of hotel soaps with a little bible right beneath the bottle. You don't have to defend that against me, okay.

[manofiron]

Fine. Have it your way, Mr. Pragmatism.

I'm going to remember you said that for the next time we get into a fight over which one of us you like better.

Yeah, well, now I kind of keep it everywhere. Since, you know, I don't know when we'll need it. But BEFORE I wasn't trying to be sleazy. And I'm not trying to be sleazy now either.

[therealgenius]

I do believe I will have it my way, thank you.

Who's fighting? What?

It's not sleazy. It's planning. Forethought!

[manofiron]

And now I just want a Burger King burger.

Me and JARVIS. It's a thing we do.

Considering how much time I spend thinking about you, I think I've now got a plan for every contingency ever. Like, absolutely ever. Whether it's impossible or not.

[therealgenius]

What do you like on your BK burgers?

I didn't know that. Poor guy. Fighting a losing battle every time it comes up can't be any fun.

How many floors is Stark Tower? That's a lot of plans if you go through each of them...

[manofiron]

Cheese, ketchup, and mustard.

If you were here right now, I think I'd hug you. FYI.

93. And I have plans for every one of them.

roughly 15 minutes later

[therealgenius]

I've got three of them en route as we speak.

You don't have to make videos of you hugging yourself. I get that one loud and clear.

Jesus Christ. I guess we have to do a trip to the Tower sometime, huh?

[manofiron]

Did you just order me burgers? How are you the most awesome person on the planet? How?

I hope not. I don't want to hug myself. That's just weird.

Any time you want.

[therealgenius]

Because I have money and money means I can do a lot more awesome things than the majority of people on the planet, realy.

We missed it! :(

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm well, after New Year's there's a ten-day holiday at my company, so we could just go from KY to NYC?

[manofiron]

Or because you're just an awesome, thoughtful guy. That's my vote.

Damn it. We'll have to make up for it later.

Deal. And hey, if you have to get work done, there are more than enough resources at the Tower. Plus it's like, what, a couple miles away from your New York location? I could help you. Legitimately help you, not be a distraction.

[therealgenius]

Duly noted.

I'm sorry, is this a kink? You doing my work for me? You have all these little ideas about things in my office—does that do something for you, Tony? Suits and ties and the like?

[manofiron]

Do you want me to stop mentioning your office? I could do that.

[therealgenius]

You can tell me if it's a Thing, Tony. If the idea of getting to soil multiple suits beyond all repair is a Thing, just say it up front.

I have a large collection, you know.

[manofiron]

It's a...

Look, you really want to know?

[therealgenius]

It would please me greatly, yes.

[manofiron]

It's a Thing. It's just a complicated Thing.

Yes, the suits are hot. It's just more than that. The whole thing, it's a reminder that we're on the same level. That's, it's a big deal for me.

[therealgenius]

Same level financially, you mean?

I was asking because I was doing some Googling or whatever, and apparently there's this whole, like, thing with businesspeople and stuff. You know. Sexually.

[manofiron]

What? No. Mentally. Intellectually. You know.

Is there? Is it freaky? Am I freak?

[therealgenius]

I'm choosing to not read between the lines here.

No, you're not a freak, because it has some pretty well thought-out, valid ideas behind it all. That, and you used to be a CEO yourself, you kept talking about my office, wasn't sure if it was a Thing or just an idea...