ic contact post

[therealgenius]

You've reached the voicemail feature for Justin Hammer. I apologize for any inconvenience I may have caused by being unable to answer your call, but I will get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you, and have a good day.

Comments

[therealgenius]

Yes, I know.

But you said there wasn't anything that was "not allowed"—this sort of thing? This isn't going to piss me off. It's really not. It's just not really my thing. Well, it's not usually. I try not to because, you know.

Gold-diggers and shit.

[manofiron]

Okay, maybe "not allowed" is too strong of a term. But the point is, it's not your thing and I'm not going to force it on you. That's rude and so totally not my intention.

I word things badly. Even when I type. That's all.

[therealgenius]

Have a listen

Do you get what I'm saying or should I type it out myself?

[manofiron]

I'm thinking what you're saying is that I can say whatever I want to you. Is that about the size of it?

[therealgenius]

That's it exactly, yes.

[manofiron]

Sometimes my big mouth costs me more than I can afford to lose. I don't want that to be the case here.

[therealgenius]

Unless your big mouth looks like this? I can handle it.

Really. Special snowflake tears are not me.

[manofiron]

Okay, for the record? I'm not Dan Aykroyd.

Or a Conehead.

[therealgenius]

I had no idea.

Really?

[manofiron]

Really. I'm not actually either of them. I know that's probably pretty shocking, but deep breaths. It'll be okay.

[therealgenius]

It's too late. I'm a broken man. Thank you for that.

[manofiron]

You want me to call Thor and see if he knows the Coneheads?

[therealgenius]

No, I want you to stop going off on rabbit trails and tell me what's up.

[manofiron]

Technically, saying it like that makes it sound like something bad happened. Nothing bad happened.

[therealgenius]

Nothing at all has happened so far, Tony, aside from you saying there were things you wanted to tell me but felt you couldn't and Coneheads and that is not an invitation to talk about "mine tart of Pop" and so forth.

[manofiron]

I'm looking forward to Belize. I want to meet your parents. I don't want to say or do anything that would fuck this up or drive you away.

[therealgenius]

I'm looking forward to Belize. I want you to meet my parents. You're not going to drive me away.

five minutes later

[manofiron]

I'm in love with you.

And that's not--I'm not asking anything of you or expecting anything of you. But that's what it is. That's the big secret. That's the double meaning. Just that.

[therealgenius]

That's not something I ever really hear.

Why do you think that would make me angry, though?

[manofiron]

It's not something I ever say.

I don't know. I don't know, listen, I didn't mean for the conversation to turn into this.

[therealgenius]

Tony. I am listening, and it's okay. You don't have to apologize for anything. It's totally fine. I'm not mad, I'm not going to avoid you because I don't know what to say in return, and unless you want to, I do intend to still come for steaks (or whatever else) this weekend.

[manofiron]

You don't have to say anything.

I want you to. Come over, I mean. And I won't mention it again. I promise.

[therealgenius]

I know. I'm not saying anything. I'm typing. 8)

Then I'll come over, and we can talk if you want or not talk or watch movies where I fall asleep ten minutes in and you don't wake me up.

[manofiron]

That too.

Okay. Sounds good.

[therealgenius]

Sorry, I don't do the silent treatment.

Unless my tongue is swollen or I've got the flu or something, of course.

Then it's a date.