ic contact post

[therealgenius]

You've reached the voicemail feature for Justin Hammer. I apologize for any inconvenience I may have caused by being unable to answer your call, but I will get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you, and have a good day.

Comments

[manofiron]

Maybe they stuck around because prison or no, you're worth waiting for and they knew that.

Yes, please. Promote Darla. I really don't want to have to fight JARVIS for you. He controls the suit most of the time, I think he'd win.

Okay, I'm telling you, that was an accident. I just forgot to take it upstairs!

[therealgenius]

I think it had more to do with the high rate of unemployment and the fact of the matter that I pay well.

Yeah no. That's a "fight" JARVIS would lose.

Dude, I don't care if you keep lube in your workshop or in your pantry or even in your box of hotel soaps with a little bible right beneath the bottle. You don't have to defend that against me, okay.

[manofiron]

Fine. Have it your way, Mr. Pragmatism.

I'm going to remember you said that for the next time we get into a fight over which one of us you like better.

Yeah, well, now I kind of keep it everywhere. Since, you know, I don't know when we'll need it. But BEFORE I wasn't trying to be sleazy. And I'm not trying to be sleazy now either.

[therealgenius]

I do believe I will have it my way, thank you.

Who's fighting? What?

It's not sleazy. It's planning. Forethought!

[manofiron]

And now I just want a Burger King burger.

Me and JARVIS. It's a thing we do.

Considering how much time I spend thinking about you, I think I've now got a plan for every contingency ever. Like, absolutely ever. Whether it's impossible or not.

[therealgenius]

What do you like on your BK burgers?

I didn't know that. Poor guy. Fighting a losing battle every time it comes up can't be any fun.

How many floors is Stark Tower? That's a lot of plans if you go through each of them...

[manofiron]

Cheese, ketchup, and mustard.

If you were here right now, I think I'd hug you. FYI.

93. And I have plans for every one of them.

roughly 15 minutes later

[therealgenius]

I've got three of them en route as we speak.

You don't have to make videos of you hugging yourself. I get that one loud and clear.

Jesus Christ. I guess we have to do a trip to the Tower sometime, huh?

[manofiron]

Did you just order me burgers? How are you the most awesome person on the planet? How?

I hope not. I don't want to hug myself. That's just weird.

Any time you want.

[therealgenius]

Because I have money and money means I can do a lot more awesome things than the majority of people on the planet, realy.

We missed it! :(

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm well, after New Year's there's a ten-day holiday at my company, so we could just go from KY to NYC?

[manofiron]

Or because you're just an awesome, thoughtful guy. That's my vote.

Damn it. We'll have to make up for it later.

Deal. And hey, if you have to get work done, there are more than enough resources at the Tower. Plus it's like, what, a couple miles away from your New York location? I could help you. Legitimately help you, not be a distraction.

[therealgenius]

Duly noted.

I'm sorry, is this a kink? You doing my work for me? You have all these little ideas about things in my office—does that do something for you, Tony? Suits and ties and the like?

[manofiron]

Do you want me to stop mentioning your office? I could do that.

[therealgenius]

You can tell me if it's a Thing, Tony. If the idea of getting to soil multiple suits beyond all repair is a Thing, just say it up front.

I have a large collection, you know.

[manofiron]

It's a...

Look, you really want to know?

[therealgenius]

It would please me greatly, yes.

[manofiron]

It's a Thing. It's just a complicated Thing.

Yes, the suits are hot. It's just more than that. The whole thing, it's a reminder that we're on the same level. That's, it's a big deal for me.

[therealgenius]

Same level financially, you mean?

I was asking because I was doing some Googling or whatever, and apparently there's this whole, like, thing with businesspeople and stuff. You know. Sexually.

[manofiron]

What? No. Mentally. Intellectually. You know.

Is there? Is it freaky? Am I freak?

[therealgenius]

I'm choosing to not read between the lines here.

No, you're not a freak, because it has some pretty well thought-out, valid ideas behind it all. That, and you used to be a CEO yourself, you kept talking about my office, wasn't sure if it was a Thing or just an idea...

[manofiron]

What's between the lines? Am I being offensive? Did I insult you somehow?

I'm sorry.

[therealgenius]

It's just like, idk, do I HAVE to have the suit to remind you of that? Like do you not think that when I'm not in my suits? So then I'm like thinking well do I have to wear suits all the time now or is this me reading things into it that aren't there and then I think that

yes I'm just reading into things that aren't there

I learned it in prison.

[manofiron]

No, that's not what I meant. I don't--You don't need to wear suits for me to know that. You just have to exist. I know--I don't need the reminder.

That was a stupid thing for me to say. I shouldn't have said it. I'm sorry. I don't want you to think that I doubt you. Ever. Just. Never mind. I won't mention it again.

[therealgenius]

(ʘ∇ʘ)ク 彡 ┻━┻

apparently that's an owl. I can see it if I squint?

Don't apologize, dude, it's just, you know. They beat into your head that everything has a deeper meaning and this picture you thought was butterflies is actually an old women being disemboweled, and you're by yourself for, like, the entire day every day, and you kind of start thinking there are things where there aren't and everything everyone says has a double meaning, or they're hiding something or faking something and you get back out and, yeah, okay, I used to "see" things where other people didn't because of math and science, that sort of thing, but it's gotten kind of...it's still wearing off, let's put it that way.

[manofiron]

It's not a double meaning. And I'm not really hiding anything. I mean, it's not...

Justin.

Look, what I'm hiding from you is the kind of mushy shit you don't want to deal with. I haven't forgotten that you said that, and I don't want to go off on some kind of stupid ramble that's going to piss you off.

I've been alone for over 40 years. I'm not anymore. Because of you. I can connect with you in a way I can't with anyone else. I don't need a reminder of that and it was a dumb fucking thing to say.