ic contact post

[therealgenius]

You've reached the voicemail feature for Justin Hammer. I apologize for any inconvenience I may have caused by being unable to answer your call, but I will get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you, and have a good day.

Comments

[manofiron]

I would be happy to welcome a creation of yours into our family.

Technically, sir, nothing hurts as I've no nerves to feel.

[therealgenius]

Well then, I'll have to pull all the stops and make her the best toaster on the planet.

I didn't mean physically 8|

[manofiron]

Shall I not tell him about this? Do you want her to be a surprise?

Metaphorically, I am in no pain either.

[therealgenius]

Yes, do that! It'll be a good surprise, I promise.

I'll try to do my best to make sure I never give you any sort of pain.

[manofiron]

My proverbial lips are sealed.

You won't, sir. You needn't worry about that.

[therealgenius]

If you ever had more than proverbial lips, I'd bet they'd be beautiful.

Oh, I'm not worried. I don't worry. Well, much. I think a certain someone worries enough for half the world at once.

[manofiron]

To hear Mr. Stark tell it, sir, they could not possibly be more beautiful than yours.

Only about the important things, sir.

[therealgenius]

I've gotten that impression, yep.

If he's worried about "losing" me or whatever, he shouldn't. You can tell him that much if it ever comes up. Bullshit something about how you just "know" or heard me talking to myself in the bathroom or something.

[manofiron]

Wait until he starts composing songs about you.

I will do my best, sir. He tends not to listen to me, but I'll try anyway.

[therealgenius]

[OH MY GOD WHY DO NEITHER OF THEM GIVE THEMSELVES ANY CREDIT!? Justin's mind is boggled.]

Let's hope he's got a good voice.

Welp. I'm gonna wrap up our little feelings conversation or whatever and head to bed. You have fun not sleeping, yeah?

[manofiron]

[ It's a mystery. ]

He does.

Good night, sir. Sleep well.

Email

[manofiron]

Good day, Mr. Hammer.

Enclosed is a message from Mr. Stark. Please open it when you have a few minutes of privacy at your disposal.

Sincerely,
JARVIS

[file attached]

Email

[therealgenius]

[It's not at the end of the workday that his reply comes. It's roughly two hours after. That can be taken however either of them would like.]

I don't think I'm in any position to talk on the phone right now, thanks to your message. It's very much appreciated, by the way. Quite more than very much, actually.

Steaks this weekend would be preferable. I've tired myself out a bit, I think.

[It's a bit prim and proper solely because he doesn't know whether he's talking to JARVIS or Tony—if it's JARVIS, then it's fitting; if it's Tony, then it's...endearing. Or something.]

1/2

[manofiron]

Yes, sir. I shall relay the message.

[manofiron]

I will take a rain check for this weekend. Who knows, maybe I'll be able to figure out something else to make with them by then.

I'm glad you liked it. I was--I'm glad.

[therealgenius]

It was definitely creative. Not what I was expecting, either. A good surprise. One of the best I've had in a long time.

Now I'll have to figure something out for a proper reply. You know, not just an e-mail to give you the heads up I got it sort of thing. A real response.

So. Getting better with toast or just saying that?

[manofiron]

That you enjoyed it is real response enough for me. I remembered kind of belatedly that we said no dirty pictures and that was kind of more than a picture.

So far, yes. I mean, I didn't burn what I made this morning. And I didn't burn the house down or catch the toaster on fire either. That's progress, right?

[therealgenius]

Well, it came with the disclaimer to look at it when I was in private, so it's different. Not that I wouldn't have enjoyed it either way, but it was a lot better when I could be at home and have it displayed on something that wasn't my phone or a work computer (the monitor is only 22'').

So you're getting along with her, then? Not annoying you?

[manofiron]

Okay, good. He sent it before I had time to write up a warning and I was hoping the staff meeting wasn't being treated to the sounds of my voice or anything like that.

You need a bigger monitor. In general. How do you get work done on that?

I am. And I think JARVIS was flirting with her earlier. She's not annoying me. She's, honestly, she's the best thing anyone's ever given me. Thank you.

[therealgenius]

His write up was good enough, don't worry about it. He did a good job!

The one I have at home is bigger, but that's pretty much standard monitor size around here. I don't want to have a huge one. Sends a bad message to the employees, and I can work with it fine enough as is. The one at home is about 32''.

He knows she can only say certain things, right? She can react to the environment, sure, but she's not AI, really. She's more...A Emotional Manipulation Kitchen Appliance Extraordinaire than anything else.

Besides, JARVIS doesn't have a tab A, and she has two slot Bs, so how that would work out is beyond me...he could have Dummy poke around her with his grips? Idk.

[manofiron]

Oh. I never thought about it that way before. That's actually a good policy.

That's how it starts. A few phrases. A few protocols. And then suddenly they're telling you how to do business and run your life and they speak better English than you do. AI sneaks up on you.

I am now picturing my robots having an orgy. Thanks for that.

[therealgenius]

It keeps a feeling of equality, even with pay differences. It's a minor thing, really, and maybe that's kind of manipulative, but anything that makes a work environment less stressful is what I aim for, hands down.

I promise she won't do that. It's not in her programming. Unless you plug her in the wall and JARVIS starts imbuing her with extra coding and overriding it, she'll be the same tomorrow as she is today.

That would kind of be like taking advantage of the mentally handicapped if JARVIS was involved. If not, U, Dummy, and Butterfingers all have the same level of mentality from what I've seen, how dare you shame any sort of exploration they'd indulge in!?

[manofiron]

Keeping morale high is the good kind of manipulative. Besides, happy employees are the kind that stick around and actually get work done, instead of playing games on their smartphones all day.

He might. You never know with him.

I think he's got his sights set a little higher. I just can't figure out if he's got them set on you or Darla.

If they want to have the robo-orgy, I'm not going to stop them. I just hope they do it somewhere private. I don't think I'm ready to find out that the kids are having sex.

[therealgenius]

That's it exactly! Some of my employees have been with me for fifteen years, and that's not something everyone can say they have going for them. I mean, things were kind of difficult when I was in prison, but the show must go on and they stuck through it, so bonuses all around whenever I got out.

I'll put in a good word for him with Darla, then.

But you had lube and motor oil in the same drawer, Tony. Don't you think they figured that out...?

[manofiron]

Maybe they stuck around because prison or no, you're worth waiting for and they knew that.

Yes, please. Promote Darla. I really don't want to have to fight JARVIS for you. He controls the suit most of the time, I think he'd win.

Okay, I'm telling you, that was an accident. I just forgot to take it upstairs!