I remember it was cold, it was winter sometime. I came home in a bunch of layers—heavy coat, double socks, scarf, all of it. And, like I said, JEEVES welcomed me and it got really quiet, which is strange. There's usually some form of "soothing" noise going on in the house, even when I'm gone. Not that anyone can get close enough to break in or anything, but it's usually always there. But it wasn't. And I was freezing, wearing designer shoes that were almost soaked from the melting snow. Anyway, so I'm a bit confused because it's too quiet. I start to take my scarf off but then I hear you talk about the lights and they come on and you're right there on the couch, the one that's catty corner the front door, so I could tell someone was there but I couldn't see you, exactly. I kind of stutter because I'm really surprised (go figure), but you start unbuttoning your shirt and you say you heard I was having a stressful week and thought an impromptu visit wasn't such a bad thing, right? And, yeah, you're wearing that really dark shirt. And you look, uh, fanfucktastic in the lighting and I realize you've actually put some planning into it, and I look over at the stand by the door and you didn't even bring those red sunglasses so I'm starting to think about how much time you must have spent coming up with the whole "presentation" aspect of it. So you get your shirt halfway undone and you're just super confident? And it's kind of got this red glow in the light but then there's blue and it's kind of like looking at a cluster of stars through a microscope, you know? Anyway, I totally just forget I'm wearing winter clothes and I think my eyebrows shoot off my head. Metaphorically, of course. And I'm about to tell you that I need to go upstairs and put my clothes up and blah blah, and you just kind of tap your inner thigh with two fingers and I totally forget what I was saying or "supposed" to be doing, drop my briefcase on the floor without waiting to make sure it's propped up against the wall and it's totally not so it falls over but I don't give a fuck because you look amazing and then I'm on my knees without second thought and I don't know how I got there so fast, and you're putting your thumb in my mouth like a fish hook and you're telling me that there's all sorts of ways to relieve stress and you've appointed yourself as "honorary stress relief aid" and I'm still kind of like disbelieving the entire thing, because no way is that really happening. Then you start going on about how body heat is a good way to warm up and it's really cold outside and why don't I let you warm me up, and then my glasses are off somewhere (I don't really remember that) and you've pulled me up in your lap by the combination of scarf + tie and I'm still kind of, you know, still not really sure it's happening. Then you ask me how much my suit costs and I tell you and you ask if I remember "secret cake ingredients" and I say yes because like hell I don't, and then you remind me (like I could forget) about the clothing thing and you slipped your hand down my pants, unzipping it just enough, and you said you weren't going to leave until my suit might be unfit even after the dry cleaners, and I am totally okay with that. And it's not, in the end, btw. It's stained as fuck and so is pretty much everything else I'm wearing, that comes off much later and then you said I ruined your shirt and I was all well i should make it up to you right? and you were like, yeah, you totally should, i'm enraged right now, how are you going to do that? and then i'm back on my knees and you put 2+2 together on taht one
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I remember it was cold, it was winter sometime. I came home in a bunch of layers—heavy coat, double socks, scarf, all of it. And, like I said, JEEVES welcomed me and it got really quiet, which is strange. There's usually some form of "soothing" noise going on in the house, even when I'm gone. Not that anyone can get close enough to break in or anything, but it's usually always there. But it wasn't. And I was freezing, wearing designer shoes that were almost soaked from the melting snow. Anyway, so I'm a bit confused because it's too quiet. I start to take my scarf off but then I hear you talk about the lights and they come on and you're right there on the couch, the one that's catty corner the front door, so I could tell someone was there but I couldn't see you, exactly. I kind of stutter because I'm really surprised (go figure), but you start unbuttoning your shirt and you say you heard I was having a stressful week and thought an impromptu visit wasn't such a bad thing, right? And, yeah, you're wearing that really dark shirt. And you look, uh, fanfucktastic in the lighting and I realize you've actually put some planning into it, and I look over at the stand by the door and you didn't even bring those red sunglasses so I'm starting to think about how much time you must have spent coming up with the whole "presentation" aspect of it. So you get your shirt halfway undone and you're just super confident? And it's kind of got this red glow in the light but then there's blue and it's kind of like looking at a cluster of stars through a microscope, you know? Anyway, I totally just forget I'm wearing winter clothes and I think my eyebrows shoot off my head. Metaphorically, of course. And I'm about to tell you that I need to go upstairs and put my clothes up and blah blah, and you just kind of tap your inner thigh with two fingers and I totally forget what I was saying or "supposed" to be doing, drop my briefcase on the floor without waiting to make sure it's propped up against the wall and it's totally not so it falls over but I don't give a fuck because you look amazing and then I'm on my knees without second thought and I don't know how I got there so fast, and you're putting your thumb in my mouth like a fish hook and you're telling me that there's all sorts of ways to relieve stress and you've appointed yourself as "honorary stress relief aid" and I'm still kind of like disbelieving the entire thing, because no way is that really happening. Then you start going on about how body heat is a good way to warm up and it's really cold outside and why don't I let you warm me up, and then my glasses are off somewhere (I don't really remember that) and you've pulled me up in your lap by the combination of scarf + tie and I'm still kind of, you know, still not really sure it's happening. Then you ask me how much my suit costs and I tell you and you ask if I remember "secret cake ingredients" and I say yes because like hell I don't, and then you remind me (like I could forget) about the clothing thing and you slipped your hand down my pants, unzipping it just enough, and you said you weren't going to leave until my suit might be unfit even after the dry cleaners, and I am totally okay with that. And it's not, in the end, btw. It's stained as fuck and so is pretty much everything else I'm wearing, that comes off much later and then you said I ruined your shirt and I was all well i should make it up to you right? and you were like, yeah, you totally should, i'm enraged right now, how are you going to do that? and then i'm back on my knees and you put 2+2 together on taht one